Grief Undone: A Journey with God and Cancer, by Elizabeth W. D. Groves
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Grief Undone: A Journey with God and Cancer, by Elizabeth W. D. Groves
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Foreword by Sinclair Ferguson."Grief Undone" is the breathtakingly honest, yet hopeful account of how Elizabeth (Libbie) and Al Groves walked with God through Al s terminal cancer. Their true story saturated with in-the-moment Scriptural reflections, blogs, and fervent prayers paints a stunning picture of how faith transforms the human experience of suffering.But "Grief Undone" is more than the chronicle of one family s courage in the face of cancer. At its core, "Grief Undone" tells a story about the God who is with his people through each and every circumstance in life. Evangelistic in impact, though not in tone, "Grief Undone" will inevitably display the beauty of Christ s sustaining love for his people through trials that seemed too hard to bear. Though grief threatens to undo us, we find that we are not destroyed, but sustained by God s presence.Story-driven and real, "Grief Undone" avoids the usual traps of being preachy, gratuitous, or dismissive in the face of suffering and grief. Modeling rather than teaching about healthy and God-honoring grief, Grief Undone is uniquely practical for those who are grieving as well as the pastors, counselors, and friends who seek to help them.
Grief Undone: A Journey with God and Cancer, by Elizabeth W. D. Groves- Amazon Sales Rank: #920261 in Books
- Published on: 2015-03-16
- Original language: English
- Number of items: 1
- Dimensions: 8.90" h x .70" w x 5.90" l, .0 pounds
- Binding: Paperback
- 224 pages
Review Most personal reflections on grief present unfiltered emotions packaged as honesty. Or they pass off sterile truths about God s sovereignty as marks of maturity. Grief Undone avoids those extremes. Libbie shares, and understands, her raw emotions in light of God s character. The result? Readers will discover that they have permission to grieve and that God can be trusted despite the intensity of their emotions. Grief Undone is a rare gift. --Samuel J. Hodges IV, Executive Producer, GriefShareA lot of people write books about the loss of someone they love. Few are worth reading. This one is. Few combine honesty about the sorrow with insight into the Scripture. This one does. Few people face death holding both present sadness and future hope in their hearts at the same time. That s what Al and Libbie Groves did. And it is a beautiful thing to behold through the pages of this book. --Nancy Guthrie, Author of Hearing Jesus Speak into Your SorrowWhat do you say about a story when you know and love the people who lived and are living that story? Perhaps the most helpful thing I can say is this: Grief Undone tells the truth, in both senses of the word. It is honest true to life. And it is True true to Jesus. You can t say better about a book. --David Powlison Executive Director, CCEF; author“Here is what will happen as you read this book. You will learn more about how to love those who have lost someone, you will be loosened from your own calcifying grief, you will actually enjoy more of the love of God, you will notice hope growing, and you will cry—mostly all at the same time.”Ed Welch, PhD, CCEF Faculty; psychologist; best-selling author“This is a painful, but hopeful book to read. For those of us privileged to have known Al and Libbie as a couple, this book is a poignant reminder of a lost friend. But it is more than that. It is also a powerful plea for the reader to take seriously the truth of the gospel and a trenchant reminder of how Jesus Christ stands with his people in even the darkest of times and will bring them ultimately through death to their eternal home.”Carl Trueman, Author; pastor; Paul Woolley Professor of Church History, Westminster Theological Seminary“The great privilege of this book is getting an inside look, a sneak peak at a real working faith. The juxtaposition of Al and Libbie's faith and the realities they are facing gives the book an unusual, vibrant feeling. This book is soul food at its finest.”Paul Miller, Director of seeJesus, author of A Loving Life“I will never forget Al Groves’s huge memorial service. The congregation was singing a praise song from the book of Job: ‘[God] gives and takes away; blessed be the name of the Lord.’ Libbie’s hand was stretched toward heaven, palm upward in worship, yielding Al to God. In this book, she yields him again. These pages are a godly woman’s poignant offering to Jesus of her dearest earthly friend.”Steve Estes, Pastor; author of A Better December and When God Weeps“Here is a down-to-earth account of death through cancer, but written as a journey with God. It is a heart-wrenching, honest, and moving account of the joys and regrets of caring for a husband dying of cancer. Written in such an engaging style, the author enables the reader both to resonate with her pain and to marvel at the grace and mercy of God that captivated her and her husband. I read. I wept. I gave thanks to God.”The Most Rev. Dr. Glenn N. Davies, Archbishop of Sydney, Australia“‘My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.’ This promise of Christ is not only for the apostle Paul, as this volume so convincingly and winsomely evidences. Though written in a highly personal vein, it does not so much draw attention to the author as it does to Christ’s sustaining and sanctifying sufficiency. Here is hope and encouragement for Christians undergoing similar circumstances. Grief Undone indeed.”Richard B. Gaffin, Jr., Professor of Biblical and Systematic Theology, Emeritus, Westminster Theological Seminary“Deepest joy and profoundest hope is often best seen through glistened eyes. This collection of brief but exceedingly poignant reflections on the death of one of the Lord’s saints will have many readers thanking God with hearts weeping but overflowing because the subject is not ultimately Al’s death or his family’s journey through grief; it’s about how the presence of Jesus bathes even the land of darkest sorrow in light.”Dan McCartney, Professor of New Testament Interpretation, Redeemer Theological Seminary“In Grief Undone, the reader is given the most honest and vivid picture of the walk through the valley of the shadow of death that I have ever read. There is the depth of both the valley and the darkness. But in these brief and engaging chapters there is also the constant presence of the Shepherd whose triumph over death gives the reader true comfort to believe that ‘I need not fear for thou art with me.’”Dr. Tim Witmer, Professor of Practical Theology, Westminster Theological Seminary; pastor“This book offers a touching testament to the power of love over death, one that does more than merely chronicle the journey of J. Alan Groves’s battle with cancer, but that beautifully articulates the broad range of feelings, moods, sentiments, and longings his family faced throughout its long, painful ordeal. Grief Undone tells a tale of one family’s journey with cancer and how it sensed God’s quiet, compassionate presence at every turn.”Rev. Dennis J. Billy, CSsR, John Cardinal Krol Chair of Moral Theology at St. Charles Borromeo Seminary“In this book Libbie expresses concern that she’s not very open about what goes on inside or that she loves people well. Don’t believe her. In her straightforward and down-to-earth way, she brings dying to life. She reveals the raw and the real within her own heart. She invites us into intimate moments with Al and with Jesus. We come away wanting to be a part of this faithful, loving family, and realize that in Jesus, we are.”Jayne V. Clark, MAR, Chief of Staff, Christian Counseling & Educational Foundation“Al Groves was a mentor and friend to many people, and now his wife Libbie draws us into their private life with a mixture of intimacy, honesty, and practical theology. The result is simply inspiring. This whole book is ‘vulnerably and excruciatingly beautiful,’ to borrow one of her own phrases, so get ready to weep, laugh, think, and reflect along with her.”Charles Clayton, Director, Oxford Leaders Ltd; Chief Executive, Primary Care Trauma Foundation; Former Executive Director of World Vision International“Libbie Groves invites us into her personal valley of death to help us see, hear, and feel how God comforts and strengthens his precious children. Instead of advising us how to avoid painful feelings, Libbie shows us how God walked her through the full range of human emotions that accompany the loss of a loved one in Christ. Our strong Savior disarms death, helps us face grief head-on with a sweet and certain hope of resurrection, and generously gives us himself in our deepest sorrow.”Barbara R. Duguid, Author of Extravagant Grace, Biblical Counselor, Speaker“Having followed and loved the blog Al and Libbie published during Al’s illness, I wondered how any narrative could be as riveting. But in this book Libbie masterfully weaves the blog’s inspiring messages into a story of love, courage, and humor. It is a model of how to walk the path of suffering while staying connected to God as the source of strength.”Amy Givler, MD, author of Hope in the Face of Cancer: A Survival Guide for the Journey You Did Not Choose“If you want to see the gospel in action, then retrace the steps of an ordinary family’s bittersweet journey into the valley of the shadow of death. Bitter and tear-filled, for obvious reasons. Yet sweet and faith-filled, as they walk through the darkness, with eyes focused on the hope of resurrection and open to see the surprising ways God comforts them when facing the final enemy. Painful but profoundly encouraging!”Douglas Green, PhD, Professor of Old Testament, Westminster Theological Seminary“We struggle to give words to our experience of grief. In this book, Libbie has done a great service to all pilgrims who have laid another in the grave to await the resurrection from the dead. This is certainly a book to read slowly, prayerfully, and in conversation with others. It is deeply human and deeply heavenward at the same time. Read it and taste comingled grief and renewal. Just as the Psalms tell it and Al would have wanted it.”Michael Kelly, Professor of Old Testament, Westminster Theological Seminary.“Anyone facing this path of loss and uncertainty could benefit from the generous openness of a wise and loving friend whose confidence in the Lord’s faithfulness and constant presence has been forged in similar circumstances. Here is such a friend.”Dr. Ruth Marshall, Biblical Counselling UK “In this memoir by Libbie Groves about her husband’s death and her life beyond, she provides the reader many simple reminders of God’s presence in dark times. However, the meditations from Al may have been my greatest delight. His observations about Psalm 22 and 23 alone are worth the price of the book. But read on, and see how God continues to meet Libbie in grief, joy, and most of all, the hope of heaven.”Philip G. Monroe, PsyD, Professor of Psychology & Counseling, Biblical Seminary“In Grief Undone, Libby recounts her husband Al’s battle with cancer and her subsequent journey as a widow and single mother. The book is an honest, encouraging read that doesn’t minimize the heartache and agonizing pain of losing a loved one even as it testifies to the sustaining goodness of God and thehope of glory that lies ahead for Christians.”Erika Moore, Professor of Old Testament Studies and Hebrew. Trinity School for Ministry “Grief Undone is heart-breaking—bringing me to tears as I walked through the 89 accounts of God’s faithfulness to my great professor-mentor-friend, his wife Libbie, and their family; heart-warming—exhilarating as I saw how God’s people celebrate his goodness; and heart-probing—daring me to face grief head-on in a whole new way. Grief Undone is extraordinary!” Michael Phua, Rev, PhD, Associate Professor, Singapore Bible College“This book not only allows us to journey with Libbie, Al, and their kids through the valley of the shadow of death, it pointedly drives us to the hope of resurrection we have in Jesus Christ. It is this hope that our dear friend Al Groves cherished even in the face of death.”Dr. Hulisani Ramantswana, Senior Lecturer, University of South Africa, Department of Biblical and Ancient Studies“Grief Undone is an invitation to and an offer of a model by which we too can learn from the Lord enough to trust his loving heart and be able to stare any perturbing circumstance in the face courageously and see beyond it to the triumph of Calvary. I heartily recommend this book to anyone who lives in this fallen world with all its disappointments and tears.”Rev. Cephas T. A. Tushima, PD, Associate Professor of Biblical Studies, Vice President for Academic Affairs, Jos ECWA Theological Seminary
About the Author Elizabeth W. D. Groves, MAR, teaches Hebrew at Westminster Theological Seminary and is the author of the minibook Becoming a Widow: The Ache of Missing Your Other Half. She has four children, who were ages thirteen and up when her husband Al died in 2007, and two granddaughters born after his death.
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2 of 2 people found the following review helpful. Life Before and After Winter By Lois Sibley Winter, Spring, Summer, Fall, and Winter again. It was Winter '07 when Al Groves left us. His wife, Elizabeth, or Libbie if you know her, chose those headings for sections of the story. The book is called Grief Undone, A Journey with God and Cancer, published by New Growth Press, and you will need some tissues nearby as you read this heart-breaking but somehow comforting tale. It is heart-breaking because it hurts to read of this loving, happy, busy family as they deal with incurable illness. And it is both sad and comforting to know they are leaning on God, the Father, Jesus, the Good Shepherd, and the Holy Spirit, who guides us through each new day. This book is incredibly sad. But if you read it, I am sure you will be incrediby glad you did.It was in the winter of '06 that Al was told that there was "a spot" on his chest X-ray. They had many scares before that and he had been through many doctors' appointments, exams, tests, biopsies, and X-rays. They were unloading groceries from the car when he told Libbie. They continued with the unloading while they were both thinking of the possibilities and not wanting to scare each other.After talking it over, they decided to tell their children. "It's hard to tell your kids that their father has something that might turn out to be terminal cancer," Libbie wrote later. The younger two were twelve and fourteen. The older two were one in college and one graduated, married, and at work, both in other parts of the country.I'm not sure when Libbie decided to write this book, but early on she kept detailed notes and she tells in mostly two-or-three-page-chapters all of the difficult, heart-breaking, and beautiful moments and days. A friend helped them start a blog and Al often wrote to friends in their local neighborhood and church and around the world to tell them what was happening, how they were dealing with it, and asking for prayers. More than seven years have passed since Al went to be with the Lord in the Winter of 2007. Libbie continued her education and is now a lecturer and teaching assistant at a nearby seminary and she has several grandchildren to love and enjoy. Thanks be to God....----Lois Sibley
2 of 2 people found the following review helpful. "Grief Undone." By Gardener&Reviewer I am very glad that Elizabeth Groves and her children chose to share this story, "Grief Undone: A Journey with God and Cancer."Those words are so like the words of my Grammy, who died one year ago at the end of May 2014. She consistently referred to the whole process of life with sarcoma as "My God journey" and "My cancer journey." In an odd way, it makes me smile to think about that, and hear her voice saying it in my memory. She would not- could not- see her life outside of God, and she did not separate God from her cancer.Just as Nancy Guthrie explains in her endorsement that is quoted on the back cover, Elizabeth Groves is both honest and insightful.Through her words, she shows us the heart of her husband, Al Groves. He was a man who knew that he lived and moved and had his being in God, even as his living turned to dying. Amidst his physical discomfort and waning health, he tried to take every potential fear or trouble captive to his Lord.He preached redemption-in-suffering to everyone, beginning with himself. He focused on Christ, sought to imitate Christ, and fell on the love of Christ in broken dependence.He had spent years studying and teaching all of the grand truths about God's compassion, mercy, comforts, provision, hope, peace, and everlasting life.We somehow think those are very abstract, ethereal things, that float above our world. They aren't. God's gifts take root and grow in one place- reality. That means the cancer ward, the hospital bed, the hospice room. The Groves experienced this.During this journey, God trained them to spot His gifts. He called their names over and over with perfect-for-the-moment, particular-to-them kindness. One beautiful example was a football game that Al got to experience with his boys. The kind detail was a wall, just right for a footrest, that happened to be in front of their seats. Al was in a great deal of pain from blood clots at the time, and elevating his legs gave him a measure of relief. The presence of that wall reminded Elizabeth that God knew, and cared.As they recognized the gifts given in this hard season, the Groves gave a "sacrifice of praise." Elizabeth includes a piece that Al wrote for his blog, about flossing his teeth. When you have terminal cancer, he wryly observed, you may as well quit flossing- especially if you've always disliked the task. Yet he chose not to, because something as pedestrian as tooth flossing was an act of hope when he viewed it rightly.I think people will find themselves understanding the Groves' experiences if they've walked a loved one towards death- the focus on Heaven, the step by step trust in God, the blessings dispensed at just the exact moment. Elizabeth's experience of grief will also resonate with readers. Absence permeates everything- the "important" and the "ordinary." Al would not be their for the college graduations, the weddings, or the grandbabies. He also would not be there to eat mushroom's off the kid's pizza anymore, or to pray them through a rough patch.Near the end of this book, Elizabeth describes prayer and worship- those moments when we come before the Throne of God, together with all of His saints.She writes, "In those moments in my imagination I feel as if.... I might glimpse Al's face in the crowd. It's almost like being together in the same place at the same time, since we are both before God's throne- he in actuality, I by faith. Someday we will be there together. And in the meantime it is a privilege, a joy, and a sweet refreshment to stand in faith in the radiance of God's presence, to close my eyes and feel the light of his glory on my face."I thank New Growth press for publishing this true story, and for providing me with a review copy in exchange for an honest opinion.
2 of 2 people found the following review helpful. Best book I ever read on the journey of grief By colossal The first four pages in this books were comments of admiration for the great job Elizabeth Groves did in writing this book. I would have to agree. Some of the quotes were inside out look at a real working faith, soul food at the finest, and a honest and moving account of the joys and regrets of care of a husband with cancer. Both Elizabeth and her husband Al were teachers at the Westminster Theological Seminary. Elizabeth had 4 children ages 13 and up to 23 when Al died in 2007 of a malignant melanoma. The material in the book is drawn from materials on a blog that Al and Elizabeth kept on www.algroves.info89 separate entries comprise this heartfelt book, each with a separate title and only 2 to 3 pages long. The reflections were poignant reflections of the moods, feelings and sentiments of all of the family members. I have read a lot of book on grief and this one is the absolutely best one I have ever read. Nothing but honest, pure thoughts and emotions.Not a lot of Bible verses but just the underlying thought that God is with you no matter what dark valleys you travel through and he will allow you to live each day and not worry about tomorrow if you let him. It is a love story of a marriage we all would wish to have, a living witness. One of the interesting passages in the book was an examination of Psalm 22 and 23. Often we look at Psalm 23 without reading Psalm 22 as part of the big picture. It was a truly beautiful book of a beautiful life and passage through death into life afterwards… Well done.
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