HEY DOORMAN: twenty-two true tales of an uncommon bouncer in los angeles, by John P. Kildemm

HEY DOORMAN: twenty-two true tales of an uncommon bouncer in los angeles, by John P. Kildemm

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HEY DOORMAN: twenty-two true tales of an uncommon bouncer in los angeles, by John P. Kildemm

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Larry David, Richard Pryor, Kenny Powers...now John P. Kildemm

The Worst of Humanity as Seen in the Night Life of LA

Mister Kildemm chronicles the night life in the City of Angels as only he can, in the second installment of the hit Amazon short-read, Hey Doorman. Have you ever wanted to get a raw and unfiltered look into the often worst of humanity, that inhabits Los Angeles, California? Then this is the book for you. Terms to be coined from here on out due to this book are as follows: unfamiliar gum, you're-going-to-go-home-and-masturbate-to-this-look eyes, HeliCop, and I-like-you-so-much-here's-a-second-vagina.

As Jerry Seinfeld once said, "I'm sure he's having a good laugh over this with his doorman buddies."

HEY DOORMAN: twenty-two true tales of an uncommon bouncer in los angeles, by John P. Kildemm

• Amazon Sales Rank: #956052 in eBooks
• Published on: 2015-03-04
• Released on: 2015-03-04
• Format: Kindle eBook

HEY DOORMAN: twenty-two true tales of an uncommon bouncer in los angeles, by John P. Kildemm

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Most helpful customer reviews

2 of 2 people found the following review helpful. I'll Drink to That By Silver Screen Videos NOTE: The author graciously provided with a copy of this book and requested that I write a review.Not having spent much time in bars in recent years, especially the types of bars that employ bouncers, I never gave much thought to them until I read John P. Kildemm's first book, "Hey Doorman 21 True Tales." I was surprised by Kildemm's writing talent and wit, especially since I always pictured bouncers as people with perpetual frowns on their faces and no sense of humor. I exchanged a couple of e-mails with the author and was flattered that he approached me to review his follow-up volume, not surprisingly entitled "Hey Doorman 22 True Tales."Now that I've finished the second book, I have three observations. First, even in Los Angeles, and even working in the trendiest of bars, a bouncer can go a long time without witnessing a really juicy incident involving a celebrity (there are simply no famous names with misdeeds to be exposed in "22 True Tales"). Second, even without celebrities acting like idiots, enough regular people in these bars act like idiots to easily fill two books and probably quite a few more. And third, Kildemm's first book was no fluke; he has the ability to spin a tale.Most of Kildemm's 22 tales involve excessive alcohol leading to sex or fights or both. And while the events Kildemm describes are certainly out of the ordinary, they are still rather mundane. No one gives birth or shoots someone else on the dance floor. Instead, a typical tale involves Kildemm trying to persuade a man who brought a can of beer into the bar that either he, the beer, or both needed to leave quickly. If most people described the incident, the listener might chuckle but little more. However, Kildemm isn't most people, and his descriptions of these escapades are hilarious and often insightful. For example, the man given a choice whether to leave the bar or give up his drink thinks about it as if he "was contemplating between sleeping with Mila Kunis or Scarlett Johansson and not a forced exit versus giving up a buck twelve worth of American brew.""22 True Tales" is an improvement over Kildemm's first book, and not just because there's an extra tale (actually he throws in a couple of extra tales). No, this time Kildemm puts more of himself into the book. It's not a personal memoir, but some of the tales do involve his own love life, and he makes a number of racial, political, and other observations. It's not heavy or in-your-face editorializing, but some of the real person comes through in a few of these tales. Considering that Kildemm is the type of bouncer who spends the slow time on his shift reading fine literature instead of gossip magazines or the sports page and is quite the film buff, that real person is quite interesting.After reading "22 True Tales," I did not feel as if I'd read a book, but, rather, as if I'd spent a couple of hours sharing a few beers with Kildemm as he related his favorite anecdotes to me. The book has a few rough edges (he could use a bit better copy editing to catch some grammatical mistakes) but reading it is time enjoyably spent. So, here's hoping that Kildemm's customers continue to imbibe and act like idiots and he continues to let us know about them. The next round's on me.

2 of 2 people found the following review helpful. Time spent with Doorman will certainly be well-spent By Helpful Advice ‘Twenty-two true tales of an uncommon bouncer in Los Angeles’ by John P. Kildemm is part of author’s series ‘Hey Doorman’, a kind of sequel to previously published title ‘Twenty-one true tales of an uncommon bouncer in Los Angeles.And except for the name not much have been changed –Kildemm again delivers collection of entertaining short stories that in total has 70 pages making this anthology a quick and funny ride.What connects the stories is the character of L.A. night club bouncer who shares with readers his experiences in somewhat sarcastic manner. As author nicely wrote “…a bouncer, door-host, doorman, or whatever you want to call him, is a very unique position in the realm of late night entertainment… now we’ve all been drunk, but very few of us have seen how our humanity turns, squirms, quits, gets its second wind, and walks sideways out the door to hail a cab, a driver service, or – in some cases – a police car… your escape from reality is his job” makes me think that we don’t pay attention to bouncers, while they actually see and know everything when it comes to events in late night.Given that the reading of whole book will take you 30 minutes max making reader to arrive to an end too quickly, one can only hope that the author in the future will write another book with new adventures of witty doorman.Yet despite the brevity, because of author’s style and the special kind of humor found within, the time spent with ‘Twenty-two true tales of an uncommon bouncer in Los Angeles’ by John P. Kildemm will certainly be well-spent.I was given a copy of this book by the author for the purpose of unbiased review, while all the presented information is based on my impressions.

2 of 2 people found the following review helpful. Hey Doorman... how about 22 more... By J. Koscher Full disclosure: The author asked me to review his book... and boy am I glad he did! What a great fun read. I kept thinking... this is a guy I want to meet while stranded in an airport waiting for my delayed plane. His writing is engaging, fun and made me laugh out loud. It's a short read... under an hour. And I ended wanting more. The chapters are short snippets like small bites at a tappas bar. While his tales could have swayed easily to boastful, sarcastic and mocking... they didn't. You get the feeling that Kildemm is as tickled with the things he has witnessed as the "bookends" of a night out as the reader is reading them. Great work and great fun read. I fully recommend

See all 9 customer reviews... HEY DOORMAN: twenty-two true tales of an uncommon bouncer in los angeles, by John P. Kildemm

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HEY DOORMAN: twenty-two true tales of an uncommon bouncer in los angeles, by John P. Kildemm